Murder for Whaat?
Yes, she murdered her boyfriend not because she caught him red-handed but due to some SMS. The rage-filled 21 year old stabbed her boyfriend 22 times to a point she even injured herself probably with the knife she was using. This is the effect of anger that went out of control. She could not control it. Anger then took control over her.
“According to radio maisha,the young woman had found the message,”Kuja nishaa toa nguo ziko nje” on the boyfriend’s phone sent to an unknown woman.
But the truth came out later that the message was from the boyfriend to mama wa kufua nguo whom the boyfriend had texted so that she could come over pick his clothes and wash!
The girlfriend mistook the message and thought the boyfriend was cheating on her with another woman!” – Source: https://www.brostalk.com/shockinggirlfriend-stabs-boyfriend-22-times-after-finding-this-misleading-message-on-his-phone/
The unthinkable happened when the boy later showed up only to be welcomed by a dagger!
This is unimaginable rage. Nothing can explain it at all.
- Are you a victim of anger that tends to run out of control?
- Do you find yourself always wanting to get back to those who hurt you regardless of their status or stature?
- Do small things seem to bother you emotionally?
- Do you quarrel with or adversely get vexed by tools, or even animals such as cats, dogs, etc
- Do you find yourself in endless quarrels even with someone you supposedly love?
- Do you frequently get into problems with people in authority such police, administrators, managers, caretakers, etc to a point of wanting to get physical?
- Have you ever lost something dear and close to you such as a job, relations, due to your angry handling conversations or disagreements?
If you fit the above description, then you are probably suffering from ANGER MANAGEMENT problem.
Anger is destructive emotion when it is not well controlled. It damages relationships, careers, etc.
Dealing with anger
“Everyone has a physical reaction to anger,” . “Be aware of what your body is telling you, and take steps to calm yourself down.”
Your heart beats faster and you breathe more quickly, preparing you for action. You might also notice other signs, such as tension in your shoulders or clenching your fists. If you notice these signs, get out of the situation if you’ve got a history of losing control.
(b) Count to 10
Counting to 10 gives you time to cool down so you can think more clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out.
(b) Breathe slowly
Breathe out for longer than you breathe in, and relax as you breathe out. You automatically breathe in more than out when you’re feeling angry, and the trick is to breathe out more than in. This will calm you down effectively and help you think more clearly.
Managing anger in the long term
Once you’re able to recognize the signs that you’re getting angry and can calm yourself down, you can start looking at ways to control your anger more generally.
(a) Looking after yourself may keep you calm
Make time to relax regularly, and ensure that you get enough sleep. Drugs and alcohol can make anger problems worse. They lower inhibitions, and actually we need inhibitions to stop us acting unacceptably when we’re angry.
(b) Get creative to get on top of your emotions
Writing, making music, dancing or painting can release tension and help reduce feelings of anger.
(c) Talk about how you feel
Discussing your feelings with a friend can be useful, and can help you get a different perspective on the situation.
Look at the way you think
Try to let go of any unhelpful ways of thinking. Thoughts such as ‘It’s not fair,’ or ‘People like that shouldn’t be on the roads,’ can make anger worse.
Thinking like this will keep you focused on whatever it is that’s making you angry. Let these thoughts go and it will be easier to calm down.
Try to avoid using phrases that include:
- always (for example, “You always do that.”)
- never (“You never listen to me.”)
- should or shouldn’t (“You should do what I want,” or “You shouldn’t be on the roads.”)
- must or mustn’t (“I must be on time,” or “I mustn’t be late.”)
- ought or oughtn’t (“People ought to get out of my way.”)
- not fair
Consequences of Anger
In the aftermath of feeling angry, it’s often easy to spot and pinpoint the damage you’ve done. They are usually visible, tangible signs but for this young couple it was the bloody body of the young man, bruises and injuries on the young woman who had
once professed her love for the now dead boyfriend. How could something that had seemed so beautiful have ended up in the worst way ever? Things had been just fine until the ugly face of anger had reared itself in their midst and wreaked destruction. This has been the reality for some of the relationships among our youth as the love goes sour.
At the very least, anger has caused people to feel put off, upset, intimidated, afraid or a handful of other unpleasant emotions. Anger also does increase the risk of pushing off loved ones out of our lives for good. At the very most, anger has led to the loss of lives in the most gruesome ways possible. Individuals have been stabbed, disemboweled, shot at, burnt with acid all in the name of love. This is why we have “crimes of passion”. Most of us usually do not realize the cost of holding onto bitterness. Have you ever heard of the saying “love is contagious”? So is anger! This is because it not only affects you as an individual but it has a far reaching domino-like effect that keeps on knocking everyone off their feet.
Effects of anger range from physical changes that include heart palpitations or tightening of the chest, increased blood pressure, headaches, fatigue, anxiety & pressure in the head and sinus cavities. Societal consequences include damage to character, Loss of lives, broken relationships with both God and man. These stressed relationships result into isolation and eventually severs ties.
Anger does not recognize age, social status, gender or even looks. It’s just a normal body emotion that requires controlling. Like Buddha once said, “You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger”
Getting help with anger
If you feel you need help dealing with your anger, see your psychiatrist . There are also
local anger management courses or counseling that could help
One of the private courses that you can attend is ANGER MANAGEMENT by Kenvision Techniks where you will be linked directly with specialists in life skills and human psychology.
IS ANGER MANAGEMENT TRAINING FOR ME?
Almost every person suffers from anger as a negative emotive force. The difference is the degree that different people are able to exercise control over their emotions. You know yourself and if that too is a problem, you need to embark on a journey of self-discovery.
ANGER MANAGEMENT COURSE AT LUKENYA GETAWAY WILL SERVE AS A GREAT START!! Click on the link to get the training program.